(Pastor’s note: after our service last Sunday when so many came forward for a remembrance of their Baptismal vows, I thought that Elsa’s reflection could be really resonant…)
There was a season in my life where after Renee Nicole Good was murdered by ICE on the streets of Minneapolis, I would have taken to the streets in whatever town I was living to protest. Sometimes I would have even been standing on the steps and raising my voice. That was a time when we believed that religious leaders still appealed to our shared morality. It didn’t matter if anyone in that crowd shared my Christian faith, we were gathered in the name of goodness. We believed in love and justice, values that are greater than any one religious tradition. Ideals that become more powerful and vibrant when our perspectives differ.
I’ve watched the videos of friends and colleagues doing exactly this in the past three days. Has it only been three days? They are wearing their stoles and clergy collars and trying to say something in a world that doesn’t make any sense at all. I admire them. I’m grateful for them especially when I am no longer taking to the streets as I once was.
Though I couldn’t convince my girls to join me in church this morning, I pushed through the fresh morning powder, taking to the streets to worship. The pastor began worship by inviting us to take a few deep breaths. He is really careful to not offend anyone so he did not take any kind of stance. He simply made a space for the wide array of emotions that the gathered community might be bringing to worship. He made space to name those big feelings and offered some words of prayer to gather us in. This Sunday was, of course, the day that we remember our baptisms. It is the day every year where the Revised Common Lectionary turns our attention to the day that Jesus was baptized by John in the Jordan River. It is the day that water is sprinkled again, flung from sprigs of evergreen to moisten our brows, so that we can remember that by some wild grace, we too get to claim, as Jesus did that we are beloved children of God. Jesus heard it as a voice, like that of a dove, that spoke only to him. It was only him that heard God offer this blessing.
It was that blessing that was the emphasis of our worship today. Perhaps because it feels impossible to believe that we could ever be enough. That God would be so pleased with us. That there is such a goodness in the world that wants only blessing for us. Perhaps that is what we need to hear most right now. Perhaps that is indeed what is most needed but I wanted something else.
I wanted to be reminded of the promises that I made on the day of my baptism. I was a tiny baby. I never said any such words. They were promises that were made by my parents and grandparents. Promises that I had to choose to affirm when I was confirmed as a teenager and then expanded upon when I was ordained. Promises that I want interpreted for this moment, right now. Promises that lift my heart and make me want to believe in such a hope without having any earthly idea how to live out that vision in the face of tyranny and crushing violence.
I want to know what it means to “to be Christ’s disciple, to follow in the way of our Savior, to resist oppression and evil, to show love and justice, and to witness to the work and word of Jesus Christ” because I am doing the best that I am able, and I remain uncertain. I want to know what it means to profess Jesus as Lord and Savior not just to resist empires but to actually build alternative realities for my children and their children. I am struggling to renounce the powers of evil not because I don’t believe that evil is out there. There is clear evil at work in the world but I do not know that anything I am doing fights against such malice and hate.
Whatever I might be doing, there will still 32 unnecessary and horrifying deaths last year at the hands of ICE. It is not enough. Whatever I might do, I don’t know how to counter masked men filled with hate and rage except that I believe that water on my brow demands something else. Something more than blessing. Something more than hope or even resistance, something that actually shatters the powers of evil in this world. I can only hope that I am not the only one carrying this determination, believing that my faith demands something more.
Thanks, Elsa!
In Faith and Courage,
Michael
(The Rev. Elsa Cook is Old First’s Minister for Arts and Worship. What? You are surprised? You’ve never met her, even seen her? Yes, that’s probably true for many of you. Elsa is our Minister for Arts and Worship, but if you haven’t noticed when she has created a liturgy for us, you won’t have seen her lately…
I first new Elsa as a college student from First Congregational Church of Chappaqua, where my friend Melanie was in those days the Associate Pastor. Elsa finished college. And in time, went to seminary, and was ordained. She served congregations in Maine and in Washington state, where she met and in time married Nigel who serves in the Army.
Clear that his career was going to be moving them around a lot, Elsa has concentrated her ministry on producing liturgical arts, her “Prayer Threads” newsletter, and a Spiritual Direction practice. She and Nigel also have two daughters, and Elsa has been ‘momming’ them in these early years and as they move around..
When Nigel was stationed at Fort Dix, Elsa joined Old First (UCC pastors need to hold membership in a local UCC church), but during that time she did interim ministry in Knauertown. From here, they moved to Kansas; two places in Texas, then to Ulm, Germany for a double tour, and now they are in Anchorage, Alaska.
At first, Elsa had a leave of absence from active ministry, but when Elsa was running up against the deadline for such leaves and doing a lot of ministry nonetheless, Old First offered her a call that didn’t require physical residency. She helps me whenever I ask for liturgies. And I smile whenever I come across her resources somewhere – they are in some small part related to our support of her ministry!
Elsa’s Prayer Threads newsletter – that she explains “is all about untangling the knots – because our spirits are full of twists and tangles” – offers invitations to practice, pray and support your meditative spirit.Click here to subscribe.
Elsa also has room for new directees in her Spiritual Direction practice. Unlike pastoral counseling, spiritual direction offers no advice, but involves deep listening for what god is doing. The goal is not resolution of issues (as typical in counseling), but deeper awareness of god’s direction. To find out more about Spiritual Direction or to begin Spiritual Direction, click here to be in touch with Elsa.)
